i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
