the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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