operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
