i already hear my dad disowning me
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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