I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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