i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
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