yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
