I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
