Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
