So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
