Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
