I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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