I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
