Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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