I got chris browned last night
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
