Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
