PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
