Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
