so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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