That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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