My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
