she woke up with a sticky ear
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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