I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
