I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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