My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
