The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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