So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
