gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize