I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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