I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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