either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
