I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize