Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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