So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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