I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
