Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
look no pants
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
