your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
