the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize