i just google imaged poop.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
