She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
