hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
we made out on top of his cat.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
