seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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