Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
