Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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