I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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