Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
