Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Couch. On fire.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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