im having a threesome with these popsicles
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
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