white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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