Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
