well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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