I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
