I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
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