I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
