i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
