So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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