honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
