we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
