Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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