that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
