Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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