no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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