do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
