we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize