the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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