Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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