Screwed.edu
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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