I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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