farters have to be the big spoon...
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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