What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
