i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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